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Jan. 31st, 2010 06:36 pmI've been listening to this track pretty much constantly all afternoon. I thought I'd share.
I think to lose both parents to cancer before your thirtieth birthday is pretty bad luck. I 've also come to realise that there's only so many times you can say to somebody "it will get better" before you start doubting yourself, whether it really will or not. Nic has said for a long time that every time one shitty part of her life resolves itself, something else comes along to take its place.
Nic quit her job in October after being off for 6 months with depression (I think she could have them for constructive dismissal, given that she was told that if she went back they would expect nothing less than 100% attendance, and if she was off again for ANY reason they would dismiss her.)
She finally gets a new job (temp admin post with Newcastle PCT) on tuesday. Much celebration. The following day, her mum is diagnosed with bowel cancer with secondary cancer on her liver and other places.
So yeah I kinda get where she's coming from when she says shit always happens to her.
Weirdly/worryingly she seems fine. She says she fully expects her mum to die, and talks of it in a completely matter of fact way, without much emotion at all.
I can only think that once you've lost one parent (Her dad died of Brain cancer when Nic was 25) you become more aware of their mortality. Like I reckon until one of my parents dies I'll pretty much think they're immortal. I remember my dad saying something similar when his dad died at the age of 83.
I have mentioned in other posts here that Nic's mum is not a very nice lady (abusive/bullying when Nic was growing up, and still to this day Nic is scared of her). So I can't decide whether Nic is 'burying it', or whether she just doesn't have an emtional connection to her mum like she did her dad. One of my friends said yesterday something like 'if I was Nic I'd be relieved." I've stopped short of even thinking that, but I do wonder if she is relieved. Obviously you can't bring that up in conversation though.
On a happier note, we're moving house on 15 Feb. We decided towards the end of the year that our current flat is too small, and given my new job and £3000 pay rise in December, we decided to look for somewhere bigger. And unfurnished.
Luckily we managed to find a two bedroom flat literally the next street over from where we are, which means we don't have to leave the oasis of calm that is Bill Quay (which is basically a tiny villiage between two large suburbs). Our new flat is opposite the local methodist church, on a short pedestrianised street, with a view of the local park from the front window. Lovely.
I managed to get a couple of fantastic bargains regarding furniture, like a couple of 6 month old 2 seater sofas from ebay for £150, and a 32" Sony widescreen TVcomplete with base unit, for £60 on gumtree. Gumtree rocks :)
On balance I think it's safe to say the next few months will be interesting (and confusing for the cat).
I think to lose both parents to cancer before your thirtieth birthday is pretty bad luck. I 've also come to realise that there's only so many times you can say to somebody "it will get better" before you start doubting yourself, whether it really will or not. Nic has said for a long time that every time one shitty part of her life resolves itself, something else comes along to take its place.
Nic quit her job in October after being off for 6 months with depression (I think she could have them for constructive dismissal, given that she was told that if she went back they would expect nothing less than 100% attendance, and if she was off again for ANY reason they would dismiss her.)
She finally gets a new job (temp admin post with Newcastle PCT) on tuesday. Much celebration. The following day, her mum is diagnosed with bowel cancer with secondary cancer on her liver and other places.
So yeah I kinda get where she's coming from when she says shit always happens to her.
Weirdly/worryingly she seems fine. She says she fully expects her mum to die, and talks of it in a completely matter of fact way, without much emotion at all.
I can only think that once you've lost one parent (Her dad died of Brain cancer when Nic was 25) you become more aware of their mortality. Like I reckon until one of my parents dies I'll pretty much think they're immortal. I remember my dad saying something similar when his dad died at the age of 83.
I have mentioned in other posts here that Nic's mum is not a very nice lady (abusive/bullying when Nic was growing up, and still to this day Nic is scared of her). So I can't decide whether Nic is 'burying it', or whether she just doesn't have an emtional connection to her mum like she did her dad. One of my friends said yesterday something like 'if I was Nic I'd be relieved." I've stopped short of even thinking that, but I do wonder if she is relieved. Obviously you can't bring that up in conversation though.
On a happier note, we're moving house on 15 Feb. We decided towards the end of the year that our current flat is too small, and given my new job and £3000 pay rise in December, we decided to look for somewhere bigger. And unfurnished.
Luckily we managed to find a two bedroom flat literally the next street over from where we are, which means we don't have to leave the oasis of calm that is Bill Quay (which is basically a tiny villiage between two large suburbs). Our new flat is opposite the local methodist church, on a short pedestrianised street, with a view of the local park from the front window. Lovely.
I managed to get a couple of fantastic bargains regarding furniture, like a couple of 6 month old 2 seater sofas from ebay for £150, and a 32" Sony widescreen TVcomplete with base unit, for £60 on gumtree. Gumtree rocks :)
On balance I think it's safe to say the next few months will be interesting (and confusing for the cat).
