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Aug. 14th, 2010 08:28 pmSort of following on from my last proper entry,
I got sent home from work on Wednesday morning because I was stressed and/or anxious. Since "Strees & Anxiety" is the catch all term for Stress, anxiety, depression and most things inbetween, I suppose it's up to me to decide which applies to me.
The strange yet/and/or encouraging feature of what happened on Wednesday was that i'm not off sick, but am on leave. Moreover, my boss, and her boss, conspired to suggest in no uncertain terms that I should take some time off, otherwise I probably would end up off sick.
I'm told that I haven't done anything wrong, but that they have been aware of the fact personal issues are stressing me tremendously. This hasn't - I am told - had an effect on my performance, because - I'm told - I'm a perfectionist, but the effect of me managing to "keep everything together" is an increase in my stress levels, and so the cycle completes itself.
I admitted one of the things that stressed me was that I was so exhausted when I wasn't at work, that I wasn't able to adequately support Nic (who is unemployed again, uber depressed and basically very lonely between the hours of 9 and 5). I admitted that I hadn't had a weekend that wasn't spent at work or clearing a house, for the last 6 weeks. I admitted I was exhausted. Not sure whether professionally that's the right thing to do, in that it could be construed as not being able to cope, but anyway. I didn't mention running, but that's also been a stress factor.
I also admitted that I didn't feel I could take time off because of my workoad (part of the problem is I'm the only one who does my job), and was told not to be so silly because when it comes to it, needs must, and they would cope.
So I'm not back at work until wednesday next week, and have been told that if I don't feel like it I don't have to go in at all next week. It's surreal, being told to take holiday. Would never have happened to me in the private sector.
It's been lovely just being able to go out with Nic, just go for lunch, coffee, for a walk, whatever. Just having the energy to do fun things.
And now I'm reading through the history of Newcastle's Lunatic asylums. Loving having the energy to read again :)
I got sent home from work on Wednesday morning because I was stressed and/or anxious. Since "Strees & Anxiety" is the catch all term for Stress, anxiety, depression and most things inbetween, I suppose it's up to me to decide which applies to me.
The strange yet/and/or encouraging feature of what happened on Wednesday was that i'm not off sick, but am on leave. Moreover, my boss, and her boss, conspired to suggest in no uncertain terms that I should take some time off, otherwise I probably would end up off sick.
I'm told that I haven't done anything wrong, but that they have been aware of the fact personal issues are stressing me tremendously. This hasn't - I am told - had an effect on my performance, because - I'm told - I'm a perfectionist, but the effect of me managing to "keep everything together" is an increase in my stress levels, and so the cycle completes itself.
I admitted one of the things that stressed me was that I was so exhausted when I wasn't at work, that I wasn't able to adequately support Nic (who is unemployed again, uber depressed and basically very lonely between the hours of 9 and 5). I admitted that I hadn't had a weekend that wasn't spent at work or clearing a house, for the last 6 weeks. I admitted I was exhausted. Not sure whether professionally that's the right thing to do, in that it could be construed as not being able to cope, but anyway. I didn't mention running, but that's also been a stress factor.
I also admitted that I didn't feel I could take time off because of my workoad (part of the problem is I'm the only one who does my job), and was told not to be so silly because when it comes to it, needs must, and they would cope.
So I'm not back at work until wednesday next week, and have been told that if I don't feel like it I don't have to go in at all next week. It's surreal, being told to take holiday. Would never have happened to me in the private sector.
It's been lovely just being able to go out with Nic, just go for lunch, coffee, for a walk, whatever. Just having the energy to do fun things.
And now I'm reading through the history of Newcastle's Lunatic asylums. Loving having the energy to read again :)
